Day one - Here we go...

Yep, we are here. Day one of lockdown 2.0. Well for regional Victoria, which is where I am based. But if I am honest, we here in our little compound have been in somewhat of a lockdown for months. In fact, our life didn’t get back to “normal” pre the first COVID lockdown back in March.

I haven’t been to friends’ houses to visit / catch up. I haven’t been dining out for dinner with loved ones. I haven’t had a full day out walking around the shops browsing in a leisurely fashion. We haven’t been away on holidays or anything of that nature. And I never returned to my gym to exercise with a group of people.

Since the first lockdown our priorities and needs really changed.

If you are not a first timer to my posts, blogs or social media; you will know that even if COVID didn’t happen and affect my life – that 2020 has still been a prick of a year.

My Nan got really sick back at the start of the year – she has liver cancer and we aren’t really sure how long she has left. But the trooper she is; diagnosis was back in Feb and it was very grim – she’s still here.

My Dad had a stroke, (I think it was end of March, beginning of April), then weeks later got diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. He is almost finished his first four weeks of chemo and radiation.

My Mum had a car accident and wrote her little buz box off (or so we thought) 5 weeks later they told her they fixed it.

My Pa has been in and out of Hospital with many a bout of illness. We then got him into respite for 3 weeks - he’s come home today.

And our house sale fell through, which has then left us with two mortgages.

It’s just been a constant stream of sh*t really. Then add COVID – the stresses that come with that – loss of income, inability to see family and friends, loss of purpose, feeling scared and all the unknown.

2020 – I have said it once and I will say it again – you can get severely BENT!

But anyway, I have gone from back in March (lockdown #1) feeling trapped and like a caged animal inside our little compound, to now (lockdown 2.0) not actually wanting to leave or interact with the outside world. This little social butterfly who could never be kept indoors - has suddenly found herself anxious to go out. Unsure of how to socialise in the community. And not knowing if I actually want to! Weird how that happens isn’t it.

One thing that happened during lockdown which was very unexpected (but I am old enough to figure out how and accept that) is that we fell pregnant! Week one of lockdown and we are already creating new human life LOL.

Here comes a whole new generation of bubs – THE LOCKDOWN GENERATION! So, I think that not knowing we were actually pregnant, until about 7 weeks - added to the stress, the depressive moods swings and the tiredness!

We are now almost 19 weeks and I am feeling human again. No morning sickness, not as tired (although I have mild insomnia), no headaches and I have got some energy back.

HELL YES for trimester two!

I am still having my moments though. Some days I wake up, head down the hallway into the kitchen to see my little family (who have been out of bed for hours some days) and I have a smile on my face. I am ready to tackle my long, usually uneventful days. My mindset is good.

And other days – I can’t seem to get myself up. I lay there for hours with my eyes closed, wide awake, just not wanting to face whatever I don’t have planned. Some days I dread actually having to get out of bed and figuring out what my long day will entail.

It feels weird saying it out loud to people and writing it right now, but a lot of my days - I have felt like I have zero purpose. Actually, it doesn’t sound weird; if I am honest, it sounds selfish doesn’t it? I have a husband and a three-year-old that are wanting and needing me. I have people in my life that depend on me. Friends who want to see me and catch up. So, how do I still feel like I have zero purpose?

Mental health is a bitch sometimes – well, bitch is a vast understatement, but I am attempting to keep this blog post "hardcore profanity" free.

Has or does anyone else feel this way? Or similar?

How do you cope with those feelings?

What gets you through?

Even though I am not on top of my game 100% at the moment, I do need to keep things in perspective. I need to check out of this pity party (party of one).

Why? Here’s why!

Because I am healthy. I have a roof over my head. A family that loves me. Friends that love me. I do have purpose.

I can still help people and make people happy. I am alive – so I need to live.

If you are feeling down, need someone to talk to or an outlet to get those dark emotions out – my advice (if I am even in a position to be giving advice) is...

*Grab a pen, pencil, texta, highlighter, crayon or whatever you can get your hands on and write. Make yourself a list of the good things in your life. Weigh up the good and the bad.

*Exercise. Get some fresh air.

*Reach out to someone you love and miss. Or do something nice for someone. For me, knowing that I have helped someone, even in the tiniest way or made them smile – makes me feel freaking good!

But remember, take each day, each moment as it comes. Get comfortable with the uncomfortable (still learning that one) and remember that we are alive!

**To end – some useful information**

- Most gyms are offering online (virtual classes) GET ON IT! Some gyms I know and have been a part of are

Be Strong -

Sky Fitness -

Embrace fitness and wellbeing -

- Get yourself a journal to write in. Or better yet – reach out to my girl Mamma Jel at Mind your Golden Heart and get yourself one of her Grateful Life Planners.

- Download ZOOM or something equivalent and keep in touch face to face with loved ones.

- Get outside, even when it is freezing cold, raining or snowing – and move your body.

- Listen to podcasts

- Oh, and eat BULK chocolate or ice-cream!

That’s it folks – that’s day one of lockdown.

Stay safe, stay healthy, keep your distance when out in public and WEAR A FREAKING MASK.

Kel x


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Photo credits: Sherise Fleming Photographer & Danae Studios

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