Day 19 - "Starting to look on the bright side of life."

Day 19

Well it’s been 7 days since my last post and so much has happened since then.

So many messages of love and support, so many phone calls, offers of help from people I am in contact with frequently, and people whom I haven’t seen or spoken to for many years. People, calling and even people dropping small gifts / gestures of love to our front door.

We have had plants, wood work, popcorn, puzzles, affirmation cards, flowers, chocolate, beauty products, cards, cheesecakes, fruit and veg and last night some alcohol (which is always welcome). Ok we paid for this, but it still counts, as my friend dropped it off last night on his way home from work.

So, a massive thank you to all of those who love us and are so kind to bring joy to our little compound. It is not necessary, but certainly appreciated so thank you. We love and appreciate you.

The support and words have truly humbled me. In my last post, I ended with telling you that I am always grateful should I hit that bottom line of one. Well, my bottom line wasn’t just reached, I didn’t just reach one person, I smashed that bottom line! I didn’t only just reach myself, and make myself feel better - I made it into other peoples hearts and heads and homes. Some messages I received included, “Thank you for saying what so many of us are feeling and can’t find the words or courage to speak.”

“Thank you for being so raw and honest and giving us an insight into your world.”

“Thank you for letting us know that it is ok to feel this way.”

A lot of these messages also included people talking to me about my strength, and reminding me that we WILL make it through this, and we WILL be stronger. All things I know, but I definitely needed to hear - so Thank you. Thank you for taking time out of your days to read my mess, and thank you for taking even more time out to send me a message of thanks or support.

So, update - we are at day 19 of our little lock down. How are we all doing?

*Danny* My love hasn’t left our little safe haven for 19 days. Ok, he has headed out the front and back door for a bike ride or walk, but he has not gone anywhere near a shop or headed down the street for 19 days! What a man! I couldn’t last 2 days without having to escape! He is still teaching guitar via zoom and his creative juices are flowing. He has been able to create a few YouTube clips - so check them out if you are a music lover. The last post is called “Why is the Chicken Fried intro SO confusing?”

And amongst everything else, he is still managing to remain calm in the face of my madness, the madness of the world and the madness of this little household. He really is our glue. The strength and the light in this compound.

*Bowie* This sweet, innocent but full of sass - ball of energy is struggling like his Mumma. He has his days and moments (don’t we all) but he is missing his friends and all his family. He is asking for his sister Chill daily, asking for his friends at day-care, missing his educators and wanting to go to the shops with Mum (something we always enjoyed doing together). I think though, the main reason he is missing our shopping outings is because I always put him in a trolley and spin him around faster and faster in big circles as we make our way around the shopping centre. It worries me that he is finding comfort in the TV (which I am trying to wean him off) but as my neighbour said to me yesterday the TV is usually our go to when we are at home and having some down time. He is probably thinking, we are home, this is what we normally do when we are at home. Other than the TV, we are doing some crafts, lots of outdoors time, jumping on the tramp, going for bike rides and playing with his remote-control car on the oval. We are very lucky where we live - we back onto the local recreation reserve, so there is lots of room to run and play, when I can manage to drag him away from the tramp or the TV.

*And Me* Well I am still up and down (again, like most of us will be) but my bad days and hours are getting less frequent. There is more good, than bad this week. Here’s what’s been happening.

THE BAD / ANNOYING CRAP - My dear old girl Ollie (fur baby Beagle) has torn her cruciate ligament, so I had a trip to the vets, where we had to wait outside until the vet could see us. (Weird experience) So, that’s going to be $1500 to fix, but for now she has some pain meds to get her through the long weekend.

- Our old House still isn’t sold or rented, but I am trying to remain optimistic about that.

- We have moved in my old fridge from the shed, got it in place and cleaned and loaded up, then it broke (again) Dan spent hours trying to sort it out, then all of a sudden it works. Load it back up, into place, then it broke and now it’s working again WTAF! So that’s been fun.

- My computer isn’t working properly, some of the keys don’t work on the keyboard and my microphone keeps cutting out during zoom and FaceTime meetings. The bloody thing is only 14 months old! Sometimes I hate technology...

THE FEEL GODD STUFF -I have been exercising HEAPS. I have set up a little at home gym area out on the front deck area, got some rubber flooring and have all my equipment out there. When I say all of my equip, I really don’t have anything and nowhere around here has much for me to buy - so it’s like a kettlebell, weight ball, skipping rope, yoga mat and bench seat. Be Strong in Morwell (my gym) are really saving me (and all its members right now) They, like most other gyms I see, are offering online classes. But we are also doing an8 week challenge to keep everyone accountable.

I hang out for the daily work outs to be released. I do that and then I get out for my 10,000 + steps and sometimes even manage a bike ride on top of that. I have to keep moving and exercising though, when I don’t I can feel my blood boiling I feel all of those scary, uncertain feelings come rushing over me. Exercising is the release of all of that for me.

- Dan and I have ben binge watching Ozark on Netflix and eating way too much chocolate each night. But we are loving it! We just finished the last ep last night and now are hanging out for more. So, in the meantime, we are jumping on the Tiger King train. One ep in and we are hooked already!

- I have cleaned up my website a little. Added some new details and some beautiful pics from weddings. It’s still far from great, but I have done it on my own - so an achievement.

- I don’t know where this one falls, but I am going to include it here. Yesterday, I did a funeral for a friend's Dad who passed away last week. Whilst it gave me something to focus on for a few days - something that wasn’t about me and what’s happening immediately to my family. I wasn’t in my usual zone. I found it hard to write and hard to deliver given the circumstances. But this family was beautiful and they found a way to celebrate the life of their dear old Dad and Poppy in a way that served a purpose for them. It was incredible to be part of that and share in all the loving and funny memories that made up Harvey’s life. So, thank you to Melissa, Haydn and your families.

- Earlier this week, I created an opportunity for two at home, small businesses to collaborate. So, keep an eye out for that - I had an idea, then I set these two beautiful women to task to bring it to life. It’s only something small, but I know I want / need one and I hope it that maybe there are others who would love one also. Maybe a Mother’s Day present or just another iso purchase. Keep your eyes peeled ladies, this one's for you!

- Another happy happening, I have booked three new couples for weddings this week. I am always thankful and excited for that! I love my couples.

- We are managing almost daily ZOOM or FaceTime catch ups with family which is great - but oh how I want to hug them all - even my brother in law who HATES personal contact -bad luck Linko, I’ll be coming in hot when this is all over.

So really when I break it down like that, the good is definitely outweighing the shit! This is allowing me to see beauty around me again. I am beginning to feel light, instead of the heaviness and the dark I was feeling only 7 days ago.

I know we are only at the beginning, and goodness knows how long this will last. How long we will be apart from each other, but I think, If I can continue this way, continue with these baby steps in the right direction, then I can continue to feel and spread love to those who need it more than me.

My friend Kellie O’Callaghan said to me about a week or two ago, “Kellie you will find something good out of this to give to the people of Gippsland.” Now Kel, I don’t know what it is, and although, I still haven’t found it yet, if I look after myself and keep my shit in check, I believe you Kel, it will come.

So, now that I can see a little more clearly, you may be seeing a little more from me on the socials. And my promise to you is this, I will try and spread love and joy and bring people together where I can. This is what keeps me ticking over, this is my purpose.

Speaking of which, last night I signed up for “The push up challenge” - so I will be flogging this on socials in the weeks to come. It’s a fundraiser supporting mental health - so keep an eye out and please join me. Let’s support each other, whilst doing something good for the people in need. And who doesn’t love a good challenge ;) I am appealing to those other competitive friends of mine who thrive in a challenge environment.

Let’s wind it up now... Tonight, I am looking forward to our Seafood feast from Cafe Aura. I am also looking forward to our Good Friday family Zoom call I have Lined up for 7pm and then I am looking forward to tucking into some of our adult goodies (alcohol) treats that were delivered last night.

What are you looking forward to? I asked this question yesterday on my social media and the responses were beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. But my questions was, “What are you looking forward to when this is all over.” So,

let’s wind it back a bit and think about - What you are looking forward to, for this weekend? Comment below and let me know how you will be spending your Easter long weekend and what you are going to do, to bring joy into your life?

As I sit here and write to you again from my kitchen table, from my shit key board, whilst my son watches too much TV - Thank you for reading. I appreciate you. And I am here for you, should you need anything.

Much love today and always,

KE x



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Photo credits: Sherise Fleming Photographer & Danae Studios

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